Stress Management?!?!

Why manage stress? Really. It’s a motivator. We seem to deal fairly well with it – in fact, we measure ourselves against our competition by how much more we can handle. Lessening stress seems very risky – a scarier and more challenging endeavor then managing stress. Isn’t this risk the one thing that really stops us from doing the obvious – controlling our stress levels.

I can’t manage it.

I can’t organize.

I have too much to do. Really....

Would you be brave enough to ask yourself if these are just excuses? You don’t really want to manage your stress as being in control of your “to do” list may make you appear as though you don’t have much to do. We all want to be that person that people say “how does he/she do it?” We want them to be properly measuring all of our hard work and struggles so that they know we are top notch jugglers. If we manage it, really control it, some of our mounting deadlines may just appear to be nicely fit calendar decorators. The “Have-To’s” would move into the “want to/like to” category. When we are doing things that we “Want-To” it opens up the door of obligation to others in our lives. Simply because it leaves room – right?? Think about it.

“Have-To’s” are not a choice.

“Want-To’s” are a choice.

When our life has lots of “Want-To’s” someone is going to make claim to our time. When we fill our lives with “Have-To’s” there is no room for claim. We have set the appropriate boundaries. Right?? But are they appropriate – these boundaries? Are they heading you in the direction of real happiness or have you jumped on the train of illusionary “everyone is so impressed by me, look at everything I manage?”

This brings me to the idea of self-sabotage. It’s the result of such behavior. I was on a jog the other day and I realized that every time I thought about how much further I had to jog, the more I got discouraged. This is the type of mental stress that I am used to. "I must, I have to." Then I realized something. Simply concentrating on the song that I was listening to or bravely reassuring myself that there was no one measuring my success, it was just me out there, convinced me that I was able to continue on much further. I became more relaxed. I was more focused on my body and its ability to endure. This process was not easy as I kept jumping back to how far I had run, what was the distance, my heart rate and then, of course, how much further I needed to go. I then decided that each time I caved to the pressure of "the have to's", I would walk - actually give myself a break. I can do that. I can give myself a break and my body rewarded me with a whole lot more energy. Cause no one really cares….no one but me. I am my own toughest critic and the accolades that I might get don’t compensate for the self sabotage I endure.

Stress causes us to measure everything. We measure by the clock, by the scale, by grades, by numbers and the list goes on. Yes, we are driven to do this for various reasons outside of just poor stress management skills BUT when you really do allow yourself the opportunity to relax a little, stop the clock in a sense, you may just find that all of that hard work could actually pay off in some fantastic way. Your "have to's" could become "want to's" and no one would know the better. It could just be your little secret. Visit us at www.Therapy-Core.com, we can help you use your stress in a positive way.